#tuesday evening

Change is inevitable.

hange is the only constant.

I have lost count of how many times I have read these phrases. I guess this time these words made more sense.

Well, one fine evening I found myself thinking about the word, ‘change’. Like it’s a fleeting moment or maybe like a boat sailing over a silent river. I assume it’s super convenient to label every shift or discomfort as ‘adulting’ and move on. But is it really easy to accept change, is my question.

I found myself in front of the mirror. Well, I enjoy my mirror self-talk sessions A LOT. But this one felt very different. Anyway I just went ahead to do my routine of stretches and footwork. So, eventually I finished my warmup routine and started stamping my foot as per my usual drill.

Pat. (wait..something felt off)

I decided to cut some slack thinking that it must be one of the ‘my feet isn’t cooperating to do the routine’ kind of a day. So, I went ahead to give it another shot.

Pat. (the same thing happened)

The shift in the stamping sound made all the difference. I convinced myself to try one more time. Took a deep breath and…

Pat. (it struck me this time)

Trust me, my head has never been so quiet like this before. Slowly, it dawned on me that the sound of my feet had changed. 

I was clearly not prepared for this change. I mean, I have always cherished the sound of my feet whenever I danced. That sound always gave me a boost. Made me so happy, everytime. Consider it to be the heartbeat of my feet, that gave me joy and the motivation to push myself a little more.

Now, it’s gone. All I could hear was a simple pat sound. That’s it. 

Is this how change is gonna be?

How does even one prepare themselves for a change? Sometimes it comes like a scheduled therapist appointment; slow and steady. The other times it just comes as a surprise out of nowhere, making you go all numb and confused.

Does it always have to be one thing over the other? Or perhaps the shift in gears is a simple way of teaching us something?

Why can’t we have it all?  

Makes no sense. I guess, it actually does.
Maybe it does or maybe it eventually will.